A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE Let's have a think about that...
7 January 2022
HOW TO SAY 'NO' NICELY
I was asked to speak with a group of people in a workplace setting on this specific topic “How to Say ‘No’ Nicely”.
Being a speaker as well as a consultant, some of my consulting contracts asked me to do more ‘speaking’ type engagements for small groups. We both felt this would be a bit more fun and engaging than the typical workshop.
I was in total agreement. It felt so much more respectful to leave a person to listen and find the wisdom within themselves.
This is what happened –
There was one man in the group who was being rather disruptive.
I could see he didn’t really want to be there.
I could sense he was uncomfortable.
First job for me – help the group to settle and realise I was not there to confront or unsettle anyone. I was there to enjoy them in a topic that we could actually make very light hearted.
Well, without getting into the nitty-gritty of what we looked at in total,..
It was when I got to the bit where I said ‘No’ with my pseudo-french accent that he went particularly quiet.
He was very quiet. His mind had gone quiet.
He put his head down.
The group finished.
People seemed satisfied enough that I had fulfilled the brief.
But, the most important moment was about to show.
After everyone filed out of the room, there was one man left sitting.
A good mate had stayed behind and was watching him and looking between me and the man sitting.
It was the man who had put his head down.
I waited quietly.
This was his time. His moment.
He looked up with tears in his eyes.
He looked straight into my eyes and said…
“I can see now - it has been me.
I have been an angry man.
I didn’t realise that ‘no’ is nothing more than that.
"No" is not an angry thing. It is me who has been angry. I’m so relieved.”
The wisdom within. Always a beautiful moment.
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